You're My All Blue
by MiddleTownDreams
Summary: It felt like someone had reached through his ribcage and wrapped their fist around his heart and twisted it as they pulled it from his trembling chest. Short ZoSan drabble. Warning: Character Death


Disclaimer: I do not own One Piece

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My All Blue

Sanji was floating just beneath the surface of the water, looking up at the clear blue sky through the ripples. The surrounding water filled his ears, surrounding him with a soft buzz. He let his hands trail heavily through the water, feeling the weight pull his hand down. He seemed to be floating to the surface. The water didn't resist as he rolled his head slowly. The water flowed around him as he lay on his back, his limbs unmoving, all he felt was a caress. He was one with the sea. The water was not a solid wall, it would not stop him, his dream. The All Blue. The water flowed to the All Blue somewhere, somewhere in the world this water had touched the place of his dream. Water always goes where it wants to go, and nothing in the end can stand against it, and nothing would stand against him as he followed it.

"-ji!"

He shook his head slightly, Zoro was probably sitting on the beach watching him, and probably getting tired of waiting. The sky was darkening as he slowly floated closer to the surface. As the layer of water between him and the sky got thinner he could hear a beeping noise, as well as the murmur of voices. Were they on a busy beach?

"Sanji!" That was Luffy's voice, was the whole group here?

He felt hands on his shoulders and he was suddenly lifted out of the water.

The sky and the sea disappeared and he was left suspended in darkness. The beeping and voices got louder and the sterile smell of a hospital filled his head. He remembered a party. Maybe he'd gotten wasted and had to go to the hospital for alcohol poisoning. It had happened before when he had played drinking games with Nami and Zoro. He cursed himself, he'd promised last time was the last time he would ever play.

Zoro... Maybe he and Zoro had had mind-blowing drunken sex. That could explain why his body was so sore. He often got drunk and decided to get risky in the bedroom and regretted it the next day. Hopefully Zoro hadn't marked him up too badly, it would be awkward to explain the hickeys the green haired man liked to leave.

"He's coming to." A female voice said. The murmur of voices went silent and he could hear people shifting around.

He let his eyes flutter open, glimmers of a white ceiling flashing between his eyelids.

"Sanji!" His eyes flew open at Nami's tear filled voice. He peered around the room. It was filled with his friends, his "family", Luffy, Nami, Usopp, Chopper, Robin, Franky, Brook and even Zeff. Everyone was there, but he felt like there was something missing...

"What's going on?" Sanji asked, frowning. That was way too many people for just alcohol poisoning.

"Do you remember last night? Anything at all?" A nurse asked, leaning over and looking into his eyes. He pursed his lips and shook his head, he remembered nothing. He smiled weakly, "How much did I have to drink?"

Usopp shook his head and burst into tears. Sanji looked at him in confusion, and then he took a closer look at the group. They were all sniffling, their eyes rimmed in red and shadowed with black bags, Nami and Robin were crying quietly, Franky was leaning on a sniffling Brook and sobbing into his shoulder, Usopp was sobbing at the end of his bed and Chopper was sitting next to Robin crying on her shoulder. Luffy stood at the door, his hat pulled over his eyes.

"What?" Sanji asked, looking over to Zeff. Even the shitty old man's eyes were slightly red. The older blonde just shook his head and looked to Nami. The red-headed girl nodded hesitantly before turning to Sanji.

"Sanji." Nami reached over and took his hand. "There was an accident."

"I hit someone? How's my car? Oh god, are they ok?" Sanji asked. Nami shook her head, "no someone hit you. You were walking and... You were hit."

"Oh." Sanji looked down at his body, he looked fine other thank few cuts and bruises. He looked up again and realized what was missing.

"Where's Zoro?"

Franky sobbed louder and everyone exchanged glances. Sanji looked between the faces, "did no one pick him up? It doesn't matter how many times he's here, he always gets lost."

Nami shook her head, "Sanji, Zoro's the reason you're here right now."

Sanji looked at her wide-eyed, "what did I do?"

Startled Nami stared back at him, "what?"

"I must have done something horrible if he felt he had to hit me with his car, or did he just hit me for the hell of it?" Sanji asked, crossing his arms over his chest.

"No Sanji, Zoro's the reason you're here right now, with us." Nami seemed to hesitate, "alive."

Alive? Sanji stared at her, "what are you talking about? When is Zoro gonna get here?"

"Sanji, he's not coming." Nami burst out. Sanji stared at her, not coming?

"You were walking away from Luffy's, Zoro wanted to talk to you alone. You were just out of the driveway when that damn car came out of nowhere and, oh god Sanji, he... He pulled... He jumped... Oh god." Nami broke off into tears.

"He jumped in front of you and took the full force of the collision. He saved your life." Robin said, pulling the younger girl into a hug as she sobbed.

"Zoro didn't make-" Robins voice disappeared but Sanji could see her lips still moving as he stared at her. Were they saying Zoro was... dead?

"No no no." Sanji shook his head, and started grinning, "this is a prank right? All a big joke? Wow I really must have done something bad. Come out Zoro! Marimo! I get it, come out!"

His laughter was slightly hysterical as he broke off his words, looking around wildly for his boyfriend. Everyone was looking at him pityingly.

"He is not dead, he can't be. No. He's not dead. He can't be dead." Sanji said, shaking his head, lifting his fingers to rake them through his hair.

"Sanji, he's dead. He's gone." Luffy said monotonously. His voice held no emotion. Sanji stared at him. Then lowered his head to his hands. It felt like someone had reached through his ribcage and wrapped their fist around his heart and twisted it as they pulled it from his trembling chest.

No no no no no no. He couldn't be gone. No. Not his boyfriend. Not his Marimo.

"My Marimo." He whispered brokenly into his hands. The hands Zoro once held. He dropped his head into his lap, a sob ripping through his body. Flashes of the night before played in his mind. Zoro holding his hand. Zoro leading him out the door. The bright lights blinding him. Zoro yelling his name. Zoro's arms around him, then pain and darkness. No. Zoro was not dead. He couldn't be dead. Sanji felt like a hole had been opened in his chest and was slowly threatening to suck the rest of him in. It felt like he was slowly losing his mind, where was his rock, the steady presence that kept him sane? He had lost his other half, the half he needed to be whole. Zoro was calm, strong, and level-headed. Things Sanji couldn't be with his hot temper. He was patient, kind and generous. He was... Dead.

"No no no." He sobbed, shaking his head fisting his fingers into his hair, "not true. Can't be."

His Zoro was gone. He would never see him again. He would never hold him close, he would never hear him insult his eyebrows again. Sanji wrapped his arms around himself, ignoring the voices and hands touching him, rubbing his back consolingly. He felt as if he was sinking into an abyss, lower and lower into a darkness that overwhelmed him. He was in a room full of people he loved, people who loved him, but he felt as though the world had left him and he was alone, everything collapsing around him.

He lay back against his pillow and let his hands fall from his face. He could feel the teary gazes of everyone else in the room on him, but he could only focus on one thing. He would never see Zoro again. He would never see his face without the hard lines of a glare as he slept next to him. He would never hear the deep rough voice calling out to let him know he was home, or whispering sweet nothings and confessions of love in his ear. He would never feel the calloused hands on his body, would never hear Zoro moan his name again. He would never watch the sweat drip of the carefully sculpted muscles as he fought with him or trained. He would never look into the dark brown eyes that seemed to sparkle with a bright fire or run his fingers through the green hair he had always loved. Zoro was gone, he would never see him again.

"Zoro..." He whimpered. His Zoro. Gone. Killed. "Why?"

Sanji looked up at his friends, "Why?" He asked again, his voice cracking, "He was too good. I'm not worth it, I wasn't worth his life."

"Sanji, don't you dare say that, don't you ever say you aren't worth it. Zoro thought you were worth it, don't let Zoro's life go to waste by mourning it. Celebrate it, remember him and smile at the memories, don't sit around and ask why." Luffy's voice broke through the awkward silence that followed Sanji's words. Everyone turned to stare at the young man who had been Zoro's best friend since childhood. Tears streamed down his face as he looked at Sanji, a softness in his eyes as he spoke about his friend. Sanji shook his head, flinging tears everywhere. He dropped his face down and squeezed his eyes shut as if the action could make everything go away. He clenched his fists in the bed sheets and opened his mouth to protest, but Luffy cut him off.

"Don't you dare think this is your fault." Luffy's voice was firm. Sanji lifted his tear streaked face to look at the black-haired man. Luffy held his gaze as he sat on his bed, "Zoro did it because he loves you. Yes, loves. He's watching over you now, just like he always did, whether it's from heaven, hell or wherever we go when we die, he'll be with you. He'll always be with you. He'll help guide you through this, he'll be with all of us, helping us through our lives."

Luffy placed his palm against Sanji's chest over his heart, "He'll always stay with us, right here."

Sanji stared at Luffy, a small warmth entering his chest where the raven haired man touched him. Luffy gave him a small tear-stained smiled, "I think Zoro was wrong about the whole god and heaven thing, he's waiting for you, and when your time comes, you'll join him where he is."

While Luffy had been speaking nurses had started guiding his family from the room. Luffy stood to join them, but turned back after a few steps. He held a hand out and dropped a small bag onto Sanji's lap, "this was in Zoro's pocket. We think he wanted to give it to you."

Sanji heard Nami sob loudly from the doorway as Robin led her out. The nurses bustled around him, injecting him and setting up drips. When he was alone he reached forward and fumbled with the bag with his shaking hands. He loosened the strings and shook something small into his hands. He wiped his eyes so he could see and stared down at his hand. In his palm was a silver ring. The band held a deep blue gem, surrounded by other blue diamonds of different shades.

"Zoro." Sanji gasped, raising his other hand to cover his mouth. His whole body shook with the effort of holding back his sobs as he stared at the ring. Closing his eyes he nodded and mouth the words. _Yes, Zoro. Yes._

He moved to put it on when his fingers hit a rough part of the ring. He froze, was it scratched? He flipped it over and peered at the inside of the ring through his tears. There was writing. When he read the words, he lost it. He slid it on his finger and held his hand to his face covering his eyes. He sank into his pillow, curling in on himself as the drugs kicked in again, one sentence repeating itself in his mind.

_You're my All Blue._

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I swore I would never write a character death fic. As much as I love reading them, it leaves me with an empty feeling in my chest, but I had a shitty day yesterday and I've been missing a loved one I lost to cancer recently. So this is a result of the amount of grief and sadness from yesterday. I'm feeling the same way Sanji was, and I remembered someone told me it helps to write it out. So it turned into Zosan angst.

Thanks for reading!


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